7 Stages of Marriage

               

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Are you a Single or married person looking for godly wisdom and information about Relationship and Marriage? Have you heard anyone talk about  Stages of Marriage and wonder what it's all about? This post is written just for you. Every Successful marriage you see today is a product of hardwork, persistence and understanding through a long period of time. Marriage is a lifetime adventure. No successful or happy marriage ever happens by chance. Harmonious homes don't fall from the blues and they don't happen overnight. As you make your bed, so will you lie on it. Everyone who desires to have a successful marriage must roll up his sleeves and get to work. Life is in stages and human beings are in sizes, so is every marriage and relationship. There is no man or woman who doesn't have a weakness or ability. No man or lady is an angel. Every man or lady you find in this world is human, and invariably prone to make mistakes. You won't succeed in marriage until you understand that your partner or spouse is human and not God.

Only God has no deficiency or weakness. Every man or lady has. My own weakness may be fear while yours might be hot temper. Anyway it is vital for you to know the weaknesses of your life partner and discover how to tolerate them emphatically without throwing sand in the air. 

In this post, I will show you the Stages of Marriage that you need to know even before you step into Marriage, so you will know what to do to navigate your marriage and relationship with love, Unity and happiness as you go through these unavoidable stages of marriage. With all that being said, let's get started.

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1. HONEYMOON STAGE 

 Honeymoon is the first stage of every marriage. In this stage, the Couple or Intending couple only see honey and moon light in their spouse without seeing any fault

. This stage for some people, begins from the Courtship and continues immediately after the wedding. For some couples it may last for a few days, weeks, months or years before they enter the second stage which is the fault finding stage. But the truth is, your honeymoon can last forever. It all depends on your decision and commitment to making your marriage work. The Honeymoon stage is one of the best stages of Marriage and relationship because it is full of love, romance and commitment. If every marriage in the world remains in the Honeymoon stage of Marriage, no one will ever contemplate divorce or separation. But just like every other relationship, marriage is in stages, but people are in sizes. You need to build your relationship and marriage from grass to grace but ensure that your marriage and relationship doesn't go out of the Honeymoon
stage. To keep your marriage vibrant in the honeymoon stage just keep loving your spouse, keep being a good and nice spouse, keep being sweet and caring, keep giving, keep doing the good works. As long as you don't change from good to bad, your marriage will remain in the Honeymoon stage. 

Why the Honeymoon Stage of Many Couples Don't Last Forever

There is no smoke without fire. In the same way, a once loving and caring husband cannot suddenly become heartless and uncaring without a reason. A wife who was once submissive and obedient to you cannot suddenly become rude and rebellious without a reason. When we notice a negative change in our relationship and marriage, sometimes we need to pause and ask ourselves this question: Where did I miss it? What did I do wrong? The usual thing some of us do is to cast every blame on our spouse and assume we are innocent. Sometimes, it doesn't work that way. In my opinion, and from my wealth of experience, I can tell you that in every problem or crises that occurs in a marriage, both the husband and the wife are a shareholder in the cause of the crises, Third parties notwithstanding. Below are some reasons why the Honeymoon Stage of Many Couples Don't Last Forever.

1. Taking Your Spouse for Granted

Over-familiarity with your spouse can damage your sense of reasoning if you are not mature in knowledge. Some people become too familiar with their spouse that they begin to take their spouse's feelings, instructions, orders, values, likes and dislikes for granted. When this happens, your spouse that once saw Honey and moon in you will suddenly begin to see a real devil in front of him. Never come to the point where you say, "is he not my husband, he cannot do anything". Please Sir, never underestimate what your wife can do. Don't take your spouse for granted if you don't want to lose your Honeymoon.

2. Involving Third- Party in your Marriage

One of the reasons many couples lose their Honeymoon so quickly is allowing third-parties into their marriage. When you begin to bring in your mother, father, sister, brother or even your so called best friend to always settle issues between you and your spouse, it's an indication that you are not yet mature for marriage. If that continues to happen, your spouse will suddenly lose his respect for you. If you have any misunderstanding with your spouse, don't let a second ear hear about it. Try and settle it alone with your spouse.

3. Telling Lies to Your Spouse

Once lies come into a relationship or marriage, it kills the sweet taste of the Honey in the marriage and blurs the moon light. No marriage can remain in the Honeymoon when the husband and the wife tells lies to each other. A relationship that is built on lies will lack trust. And if there is no trust in the union, forget it. 

4. Lack of Respect for Your Spouse

One of the reasons many couples don't last long in the Honeymoon Stage is lack of respect for their spouse. When you lose your respect for your husband or wife, you have lost your Honeymoon without knowing. The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach as many have assumed. It is Respect. What keeps and holds marriage together is Respect, not love. Love brings the marriage, respect keeps it going. 

4. Neglecting Your Responsibility as a Spouse

Many couples lose their Honeymoon Stage earlier than necessary due to negligence of their marital duties. If the man fails to provide for his family, he has set himself up to exit his Honeymoon. Make no mistakes, a good woman can malfunction if she is hungry and there is no food in the house for her to eat. In the same way, a good man can turn to a beast when the wife suddenly becomes a knife instead of a wife. 

5. Lack of Quality Sex and Romance

Another reason why many couples lose their Honeymoon so quickly is inability to maintain a consistent quality sex and romance in their marriage. There is something about sex that many couples don't know. Sex is a peace maker, it is a healer, an energizer and love tuner in marriage. One hour of hot sex with your spouse can save You from many days of argument with your spouse. Couples who have sex regularly last longer in their Honeymoon than those who don't have sex regularly. How often do you think Couples should have sex in a week? Use the comment box below and let me know what your opinion is. Our readers will love to know the best duration Couples should have sex in a Week. 

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2. THE FAULT FINDING STAGE 

As the name goes, that's what this stage is. Many couples who lose the Honeymoon stage, find themselves in the Fault finding stage. Because any time you stop seeing honey and moon in your spouse, the only thing you will see is fault. That doesn't mean that your spouse won't exhibit his or her weak points during the Honeymoon stage. Inevitably, the weak points will be there, but you won't notice them. And if you eventually notice them, because you are seeing honey and moon in the marriage and in your spouse, you will find a better way to manage it. The Fault Finding stage is one of the most difficult stages of Marriage and relationship. It is in this stage that many marriages and relationship break apart. Divorce and separation easily take place in this stage. Other cankerworms of Marriage pitch their tent in this dangerous stage of Marriage. So it is very dangerous to keep your marriage and relationship in the fault finding stage. When you find your marriage and relationship in the fault finding stage, the best thing to do is to reverse back to the first stage which is the Honeymoon stage or move forward to the last stage of Marriage which is the Acceptability Stage. When you easily get angry at every little thing your spouse does, your marital life has entered the fault finding stage. When your spouse can't please you no matter how hard they try, you have fallen into the river of fault finding stage. A fault finder can never be a true lover. Love has eyes and shines those eyes before marriage, immediately after marriage love becomes blind. If you keep finding fault in your spouse, you will never be happy in your marriage. 

How to Navigate Your Way Out of Fault-Finding Stage

1. Talk to Your Spouse about Your Feelings

Sometimes things get worst in marriage because the couples can't talk to each other. When you are not happy, talk and express yourself in a polite manner to your spouse. Don't assume your spouse knows you are not happy. Sometimes he may not know. He may be thinking you are having a good time without knowing you are boiling on the inside over what he did or said to you. Your spouse is not God to know everything in your heart. You've got to talk if you want to be happy. 

2. Learn to forgive quickly

If you are the type of person who always harbor the wrongs and offences people committed against you in the heart, you may never leave the fault finding stage. The best way to get out of the fault finding Stage back to Honeymoon is to learn to forgive quickly. Don't let anger stay in your heart till daybreak. Learn to forgive in advance. Forgiveness is the key to navigate your way back to Honeymoon. 

3. Pray Your Way Out

Most problems in relationships and marriage are not ordinary. They have a spiritual undertone. The devil and his agents are responsible for some marital crises Many people face today. Remember Satan hates anywhere there is love, peace and unity. The devil's greatest desire is to cause crises everyday in people's marriage and homes. That's why you must pray. You need to pray against Satanic forces that fight against the peace and unity of marriages. You need to pray against witchcraft manipulations. 

3. THE ACCEPTABILITY STAGE  

This is the stage where many couples adapt and accept their spouse the way they are. Many marriages that have lasted over 25 years to 50 years and above have entered their Acceptability Stage. It doesn't matter what the husband or wife can say or do, the spouse has accepted the marriage as it is. Marriages in the Acceptability Stage hardly break. At this stage, it is expected that the couple have even stopped giving birth to children. Their children may have grown into adults. So the parents are really advancing in age. One significant thing I need to tell you about this stage is that, the Acceptability Stage is of two types. One is positive, the other is negative. What I mean is this, there are couples who accepted their husbands or wives just for management. Deep in their hearts, they are regretting why they even got married to the person in the first place. But since divorce or separation is not an option, they chose to stay in the marriage with many bruises and wounds. That's a negative Acceptability Stage. But the positive Acceptability Stage begins from honeymoon and remains in the Honeymoon until death does them apart. This is the stage where the husband and the wife are sincerely satisfied with each other and remain ever grateful to God for bringing them together as husband and wife. In this stage, couple do things in common. There is mutual respect, love, unity, peace and commitment in the marriage and family. 

4. Time of Lack or Abundance

Another important stage of marriage you need to prepare for is the season of lack and abundance. Even if you both were born with a silver spoon, it may not be lack of finances but lack of the fruit of the womb. Though no one prays for that, but it can happen to anyone. Some people do get married healthy and become sick or bedridden after few years. It may be a spiritual battle or an internal family crises. You need to be aware that every marriage goes through some kind of challenges. You need to be emotionally and spiritually prepared to handle whatever comes your way after marriage through prayer and fasting. Some people have left their spouse in this stage of lack and just after few weeks, a major financial breakthrough came. Don't leave your spouse and run away because of a challenge that came to test the depth of your love and commitment. Stay in your marriage and fight to make it work. If your faith is strong, you both will pull through. There are seasons of lack and want and there are times of abundance and blessings. 

5. Stage of Raising Children

One of the important Stages of Marriage is the time of raising children. When children start coming, it can disrupt the normal routine of the home. From waking up early before dawn, to staying late in the night, becoming a new father or mother will invariably demand alot of attention, time, energy and resources from you. You need to prepare for this stage. Even as the number of kids is increasing, that's how your responsibility will also increase. My advice is, don't over-crowd your home. Decide with your spouse the number of kids you both want and ensure they are what your income and capacity can train. If you are a working class man or woman, you need also to consider who will be taking care of your baby when you are off to work. Some maids may not be reliable. You can't leave the welfare of your precious baby in the hands of a nanny or maid you are not sure how they are going to treat your kid behind your back. Please prepare and plan very well for this stage of marriage. 

6. Time of Old Age

One of the important Stages of marriage is the old age stage. If Christ tarries, you both are going to grow old together. You will realize that your wife may not be as beautiful or sexually attractive as she used to be when she was younger. Her face may be full of wrinkles. Her breasts that once stood like towers tickling your fancy may become flat like slippers due to old age. Her backside that was once shaking the roof of your bedroom may become almost invisible. As a man, you need to be mentally, emotionally and financially prepared for old age. Yes, when old age comes, it can turn a mature man into a little boy. You may not be as strong as you used to be physically and sexually. You may even lose your eye-sight because of old age. You need to prepare for old age. What will you be doing when you are old? Where will you be living when old age comes? Do you love your spouse beyond feelings and sexual fantasies? When old age comes and both of you are still happy and together in love, then you can appreciate how beautiful love is.

7. Time of Death of One Partner or Both

Another important stage of marriage is the death of one Partner. Death is inevitable. It is an appointment for every human. Sometimes, one partner may out-live the other. One may be the one to bury the other. You need to be spiritually, mentally and emotionally prepared for this. Some married people lose their spouse and lose their mind along side with it. It ought not to be so. It is very painful to lose a loving and caring spouse but death is irreversible. Crying yourself to coma won't bring the person back to life. Starving yourself to death won't change the situation. When one partner leaves, don't mourn like those who don't have hope. If you are a child of God, comfort yourself, put your broken pieces together and move forward. Life continues. That's why you must do everything possible to make your days and stay with your spouse a memorable one. Let your spouse consider himself or herself a Lucky person to be married to you. Be a good and nice spouse that your presence will be heavily missed in the family any time you are not around. 

CONCLUSION 

Every marriage passes through these  Stages of Marriage. How you manage your own challenges will determine how far you will go in your marital journey. Some people are just using packaging to cover up a lot of things in their marriage. You may think you are the only one going through these stuffs. But the truth is, you are not the only one. Many couples have gone through several challenges yet they have never run away. Please don't run away from your marriage or relationship at the sight of every little challenge or crises. Stay there and work it out. By the grace of God you can make your marriage and relationship heaven on earth. Yes, your honeymoon can last forever.

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