How to Handle a Cheating Spouse

     

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Cheating in a relationship or marriage can become a cause for misunderstanding, fight, domestic violence, separation, heartbreak or divorce. Not everyone can put up with a cheating spouse. Is your spouse cheating on you? Do you want to know how to make him or her forget his or her sexual escapades and focus only on you? Do you want to know how to win back the heart and trust of your partner? In this post, I will not only show you how to handle a cheating spouse but I will also show you what you can do and your spouse will never cheat on you in this life.

What is cheating?

Cheating in a relationship or marriage is the same. It simply means when your spouse is having an affair with another person behind your back. Marriage according to the bible is designed between one man and one woman. When a man or woman has two or more lovers of the opposite sex whom he or she is having an affair with, that person is cheating. A cheat is a thief. So permit me to state that cheating is stealing what does not belong to you. It is trespassing into someone else garden. Cheating is a sin. God hates adultery or fornication. That's why He created the institution called marriage, so that every man and woman can find sexual satisfaction with his spouse only within the matrimonial bed. 

Different Kinds of cheating

Cheating is not only limited to sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite sex , outside marriage. Cheating has many levels and different kinds. If there's any man or woman you are spending more time with at the office, workplace, school or anywhere else more than your spouse, that's cheating. It doesn't matter whether you people are doing anything or not. For crying out loud, you shouldn't always be found going out with another woman or man, leaving your spouse at home. There some men that like to go out with their secretary, colleague at work etc. Sir you are cheating on your wife! You know why? Because you are indirectly breaking the bond of unity between you and your wife. There are many married women who come to Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms to have a romantic chat with their so called "Facebook friends" of the opposite sex. Madam that is cheating. Yes you claim he has not met you physically, but his words are turning you on. That's adultery in Bible panorama. Cheating can occur in many ways. Ranging from having the so called bestie, lonely night calls with an ex or admirer when your spouse is not around. Let me put it this way. When you are sexually aroused or horny, anything you say or do with anyone of the opposite sex outside your spouse to satisfy your feelings and desires is cheating. Whether is speaking on the phone, chatting, smooching, touching, kissing, fondling, fingering, sexual intercourse, going out together for shopping, going out for a lunch together etc. Let me say this for our better understanding. When a man gets married, he ceases to have woman or girlfriend. His wife becomes his only female friend. The same applies to the woman. It's not normal for a married woman to introduce another man to her husband as her friend. It's unethical. The moment you are married, as a wife, all the men who were your friends when you were single become your brothers. That's how you should address them. They are now either your brother in Christ, your colleague at work, a Client, customer or neighbor. Not boyfriend! 

15 Reasons why People cheat in a Relationship

As people's faces are different, that's how the reasons some people cheat in relationships differ. I have seen a situation where a married woman cheated on her husband simply because the man beat her. So she thought the best way to get back on her husband was to cheat on him. Later on, after they have reconciled the memory of her cheating kept hurting her and she couldn't have peace in her heart until she confessed her sin. If you want to know how to handle a cheating spouse, below are some of the reasons people cheat in a relationship :

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1. Their Spouse starves them sexually and denies them sex most times when they need it most.

2.  Their Spouse cannot perform well during sex.

3. Their Spouse is dirty, smelling and their body is irritating.

4. Their Spouse makes sex to be boring and uninteresting to them.

5. Their Spouse beats them regularly and maltreats them at home.

6. They are emotionally frustrated.

7. Financial hardship and lack of Basic needs at home such as food, shelter and clothing. 

8. Seduction and sexual manipulation from sexual trapists

9. Excessive kindness from a loyal and wealthy friend of the opposite sex. 

10. Hyper sex drive and high libido.

11. Bad sex habits such as watching porno, masturbation and visiting of prostitutes

12. Exposure to night life like clubbing and parties.

13.  Excessive drinking of alcohol, smoking of cigarettes or use of hard drugs. 

13. Lack of sex education and sexual intelligence

14. Low self-esteem and lack of moral values, ethics and culture.

15. Lack of fear of God.

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How to handle a cheating spouse

When you find out your spouse is cheating on you, most times the fault may not be from him or her. So it is not enough to shout and burn down the roof of the house. But you need to sit down and find out why your spouse is cheating on you and what you can do to remedy the situation without adding salt to injury. Here are practical steps you can take.

1. Effective communication

Infidelity or cheating in marriage always begin where communication ends. Any time you are not talking to your spouse and he or she is very happy and excited, know that someone else is taking to him or her. So you need to talk. I don't mean heaping of blame, accusations or insult. I mean heart to heart talk with your spouse. First ignore his or her mistakes and appreciate some of your spouse's little efforts. Tell your spouse how you love and appreciate having him or her as your spouse. Everyone likes to be appreciated. Then ask questions to know if there are some things you are doing he or she doesn't like. Talk about sex. Yes ask him questions about his or her sexual fantasies. Ask questions to know his or her rating on your sexual performance or if there are areas he or she wants to be touched. Some people may not be willing to talk about everything about their sexual life but on a normal day your spouse will like to tell you what makes him or her go crazy in the bedroom. Talking as two mature adults can solve alot of problem for you.

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2. Give your cheating spouse alot of Attention

When your spouse is cheating on you, someone is giving him or her the kind of attention you are not giving him or her. Sometimes we forget that your spouse didn't get married to your money, house, car or job, he or she got married to you. So anything you are giving your spouse without giving your time and yourself is a bait for cheating. Many people are physically married but emotionally single. When your spouse is feeling lonely or bored, he or she needs you to talk to him or her. No material provision you are making available can replace your presence and attention. Spend quality time with your spouse! When you give quality attention to your spouse, cheating will end. Sometimes take a leave from your office just to have enough time to spend at home with your spouse. It's unfortunate that many men are out there working hard to put food on the table for their wife and kids, ignorantly they stay away from their home for several weeks and months only to come back home meeting another man in his bedroom doing his marital duties for him. You need balance dude. Don't work for money and leave your wife at home for another man to curdle for you. She is a human with flesh and blood. She is not a bunch of wood which has no sensory organs or feelings.

3. Give your cheating spouse love

This is where many married people miss it most. We usually think that once your spouse is cheating, he or she doesn't love you again. That's not the whole truth. Sometimes someone can be madly in love with you and still cheat on you. When your spouse is cheating on you, he or she is looking for love which someone else is willing to offer. Remember we have different love language and love codes. For one woman, love is petting her and calling her sweet names but for another woman love is when a man sits up to his responsibilities and provides for his household. So try to understand your spouse's love language and speak the same to him or her. Love covers a multitude of sin. Love is one language everyone around the world understands. Even the blind can see love, the deaf can hear it and no one can reject love. Love is not a song. Love is kindness, compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, trust. Love is not just talk, love is an action. The best way to handle a cheating spouse is not to crucify him or her. If you want to make a cheating spouse not to cheat on you again, whether you catch him or her in the act or not show how him or her love that no one else can show him. Go out of your way to be good to your spouse. Do you know what will happen when you do this? His or her conscience will start judging him or her. Do you know your cheating spouse is expecting you to retaliate with hatred and malice, so he or she can continue cheating on you? But when you choose to show love and not hatred, you have finished him or her. Watch what the bible says, 

 " Therefore if thine enemy  hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so  doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head." Rom 12:20

How to Make Your Spouse not to cheat on you.

1. Never starve your spouse sexually.. Allow your spouse to have his or her conjugal right any time and any how he or she wants it. Don't use sex as a weapon against your spouse. If you don't want your spouse to cheat on you, don't demand for money, car, house, clothing or any other material thing for an exchange for sex with your spouse. Only harlots charge money or other material gain for sex. 

2. Learn to perform well on the bed. Don't lie down during sex like a bunch of wood. Be adventurous, skillful and active with your hands, legs and entire body during sex with your spouse. Moan if you can, just make sure you satisfy your spouse beyond his or her expectations. 

3. Always look neat and smell good. Have your bath at least 3 times a day. Brush your mouth at least twice a day. Please shave your privates and apply sweet smelling roll on and perfume. No one will cheat on a clean, sweet swelling and romantic spouse. Above all, make sure you are sexually healthy. Always check yourself for STDs from time to time. Being sexually healthy is necessary to keep your spouse from cheating on you. 

4. If you don't want your husband or wife to cheat on you, please don't abuse your spouse. If you don't maltreat or abuse your spouse, he or she will never cheat on you. Beating your wife will push her to sleep with another man. Guys, if you don't want another man to sleep with your wife, never beat your wife for anything. And women, being unnecessarily aggressive, insultive, arrogant, stubborn and rebellious to your spouse will make him to leave you in the house and look for another woman to sleep with. If you don't want your husband to cheat on you, please respect and honor your husband.

5. If you want to know how to handle a cheating spouse or how to make your spouse not to cheat on you, the answer is, provide for your household. It is the responsibility of the husband to provide for his household. It is also the responsibility of the wife to support her husband financially. For peace and harmony to reign in the home, both must work together as one family in this area. Work hard to ensure that the basic needs such as food, water, shelter and clothing are available for the family members. This will help to prevent either the man or woman from looking for sugar mummies or sugar daddies for money or any kind of help. 

6. Watch your spouse back. Find out who goes out with your spouse. Find out who your spouse stays with in the office. Don't give any room for any seductress or husband snatcher to take your husband from you. Take your place as the queen and wife of your husband. Let his friends know you. Let his colleagues at work know you. Sometimes sex traps can be avoided when couples learn to go out together and do things in common. If you are always with your spouse, it will be difficult for another man or woman to seduce him or her in your presence. 

7. Set boundaries. Watch it when your spouse begins to receive unnecessary and unusual kindness from a boss, colleague, customer, friend or relative of the opposite sex. It can open door for cheating. Set boundaries. 

8. Avoid bad sex habits like watching porno or masturbation. If you find your spouse addicted to these things, help him or her to know the dangers that come with them and help him or her to quit such bad habits. 

9. If you don't want your spouse to cheat on you, avoid night life. If you want to know how to handle a cheating spouse, it is to stop him or her from attending night parties and night clubs. If your spouse is used to attending night parties and night clubs, chances are he or she will cheat on you one day. People go to night clubs to drink and dance with half naked women and invariably have sex with them. If you want to stop your spouse from cheating on you, remove him or her from any environment that can fuel his or her lust. 

Conclusion

If you want to know how to handle a cheating spouse, it is to stop him or her from excessive drinking of alcohol, smoking and use of hard drugs which makes him or her to lose control of his or her mind. The best way to stop your spouse from cheating on you tomorrow is to teach him or her today sex education. You need to help your spouse to build a good self-esteem and cultivate good morals, ethics and values. This will help him or her to focus his or her time, energy and resources on things that really matter to life and destiny and not on sexual immorality. Finally, by strength shall no man prevail. Pray for your spouse everyday and surround him or her with a spiritual wall of fire which the enemy cannot penetrate. If you don't want your spouse to cheat on you, allow him or her to serve God. The more your spouse goes to church, reads the word of God and participates in kingdom service, the more difficult it will be for him or her to cheat on you. The greatest force that keeps a man or woman from cheating on the spouse is the fear of God. So help your spouse to know God and develop a personal walk with Jesus Christ. Then you can be rest assured that your spouse will never cheat on you. 

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