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There is no magic to raising godly children. It all depends on the kind of parent you are. If you are a good man, there is 90% probability that your child will be a good son. If you are a godly mother, there is no doubt that your daughter will be godly too. I am sure you probably have heard that saying, " Like father, like Son. Like mother, like daughter". It's true.
Parenting from the Inside Out is perhaps the most effective way of training and raising honest, obedient and responsible Children who will emerge as great leaders of tomorrow.
You can't be a wicked father and expect your sons to be godly children. You can't be a promiscuous mother and expect your daughters to become disciplined children. If that ever happens, it only happens in the movies. In a real world experience, who you are determines the kind of children you will raise.
Parenting from the Inside Out- What does it mean?
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Parenting from the Inside Out is not about shouting, scolding or chasing your children around to do your orders. It is not about monitoring or supervising your child to behave well in public or at home. Parenting from the Inside Out is simply Influencing your child with your good character and godly virtues so much that your child cannot help but copy them in his own behavior unconsciously. There is a way a father will behave, he will become his children's Idol. There is a way a mother will behave, she will become her children's model. The greatest question every Parent must ask himself is, will I be happy if my children behave like me?
There are some fathers that are into all manner of vices such as womanizing, drinking, drug and many other criminal activities. Some married women dress and throw away their caution into the wind. Some mothers are a complete disappointment to what womanhood and feminity stand for. As Parents, if we desire to raise up godly children with good behavior, we must go back to the drawing table and start from ourselves. Parenting from the Inside Out is All about becoming a good example for your children to copy in their behavior. When Parents set up a standard with their own good character and behavior, it becomes easy for their children to replicate the same in their conduct. Because children learn mostly by things they see and hear from their parents.
15 Things you Should Never Do as a Parent
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1. Never bath Naked with your child or stand Naked in front of your child.
Children are very fragile and curious beings. Even if they are toddlers they have eyes, brain and instinct. Don't assume your child does not know anything. If you start bathing naked with your child or always standing Naked in front of your child, don't be surprised if he grows up and start lusting after you or making advances to sleep with you. Don't start what you cannot finish. The only person permitted to see your nakedness is your Spouse and your family medical doctor.
2. Never discuss your financial challenges or personal problems with your child.
Your child is not your age mate or financial advisor. If you have any need to talk to someone on these private issues, your spouse is the best person to talk to or your pastor. When your child gets to know that you are broke and financially miserable, he may be tempted to go and steal someone's money or do a more grievous crime just to help you. You must learn to keep your children away from your personal challenges or trouble. If you must tell them, let it come as a testimony when you have already conquered the trouble. You can tell them what happened, what you did to come out of it and how God helped you. This can build up their faith incase they encounter such problem in the future.
3. Never beat your spouse in front of your child.
If you want to damage the perception of your child about marriage, just beat his mother or father in front of him. That child will grow up only to see a woman as a punching bag and marriage as a necessary evil. How your daughter sees her mother treat her father is actually how she will treat her own husband when she grows up and gets married. The same applies to the boys. The best gift you can give your sons and daughters today is to treat their father or mother well.
4. Never tell lies in front of your child.
When you tell lies in front of your child, you have destroyed the integrity of your child without knowing. It is worse if the child gets to know that what you said was a blatant lie. The resultant effect is that, your child will start telling lies. He may graduate from lies to deceiving people and defrauding them. Let your child know you as an honest and sincere father or mother. He will trust you with everything in him if he comes to know you as a truthful Parent.
5. Never abuse or Insult Your Spouse in front of your child.
It's unethical to insult and abuse your Spouse when your child is around. This will send a wrong signal into his brain, giving that child a wrong impression of what marriage is all about. Such child may grow up to become a suacy or rude child.
6. Never make your child to inherit your enemies.
A good parent must learn to keep his children out of his battles and struggles. Don't ask your children to insult those who offended you. Don't send your children after your competitors and haters. This is very dangerous for their safety and destiny. Fight your own battles alone and get victory for yourself.
7. Never leave debts for your children to pay.
It's very dangerous to mortgage the destiny of your children to unpaid debts. A good Parent leaves assets for his children, not liabilities. Make sure you pay off every debt you owe the bank or people during your lifetime. Your children shouldn't be taken as Collateral when you are no more because of your unpaid debts.
8. Never discuss things that will damage the self-esteem of your child in front of him.
As a parent, you must hold the self-esteem of your child in high esteem. Don't embarrass your child in front of visitors or strangers. If your child has a health condition that you are already aware of, don't use it to abuse him or discriminate him. When your child confeseses a wrong he did to you in private, don't make it a public headline.
9. Never leave the welfare of your child only in the hands of a Nanny or House-Help
No matter how good a Nanny or house-help may be, she is still human and liable to errors. Your child is your personal responsibility. You can't guarantee what will happen to your child behind the scenes if you leave only the Nanny or house-help to care for your child.
10. Never ask your child to go out alone in the night
It's dangerous to ask your child to go out alone in the night for anything. If your child must go out of your house in the night, you must accompany your child or ask someone older to go with Him. This is for security reasons. Some children have been kidnapped, raped or killed that way.
11. Never rape or have sexual intercourse with your child
It's a crime against God, humanity and your own conscience to take forceful advantage of your child. Any Parent who rapes a child is completely insane. Parents are meant to protect their children.
12. Never leave your child in the company of a stranger alone.
Don't be too careless to leave the scene when a stranger is with your child. Never trust a stranger to that level where you leave your child with him for five minutes without your eyes on them. To give birth to a child is expensive. It doesn't happen one day. Sometimes, it takes more than nine months with so much pain and inconveniences. Protect the child God has given to you.
13. Never allow your child to insult anyone in front of you.
Rebuke your child when he tries to insult or abuse anyone in front of you. Don't give your child the luxury and effontry to misbehave in your presence.
14. Never support your child when your spouse is Correcting him
Never become a partner in crime with your child when your spouse is correcting him for the wrong he did. Instead, join hands with your spouse and rebuke the child. When a child knows there's no hiding place, he will behave himself.
15. Never keep quiet when your child comes home with anything that is not his own.
Armed robbers didn't start with guns. Some of them started from childhood by stealing their classmates's pencils at school. When you notice your child came home with a pen, pencil or book that you didn't buy for him, query him about it. Don't keep quiet about it. If you don't deal with him when he steals pencil, one day he may go to the bank with a gun to steal.
6 Ways to Encourage Obedience in your Children
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When the obedience of the Parents is complete, it will rub off on the children. Below are 6 ways a Parent can model a life of obedience to his children, so they can see it practically demonstrated and replicate the same.
1. Parents obey God and His word.
Obedience is reciprocal. When you obey God, your own children will obey you. If you are disobedient to God, don't blame anyone if your children are disobedient. Whatever you are is what they will become. What you do both in secret and open is what they will do. It's a natural law called the law of sowing and reaping.
2. Obey the laws of your Country and the laws of the land where you are living.
If you want your children to become obedient children, always obey the laws of your country and the laws of the land where you are living. If you are carrying your child in the car, don't disobey the traffic police and don't disobey the traffic light. You may not know that your child is watching you. He is seeing what you are doing. If there is a sanitation day, observe it . Be an obedient citizen and your children will emulate it from you.
3. Obey your seniors at home and at the place of work.
If you want to nurture the spirit of obedience in your children, always obey your elders and seniors at home and at the place of work. Your kids are watching you. They may not tell you but they are seeing the way you treat elderly people and those who are your seniors.
4. Obey Every law you made that guides the Home
Parenting from the Inside Out is all about taking the lead, setting the pace and defining the direction for your children to follow through your own words and conduct as a parent. If you want your children to become obedient you must keep your own laws which you made to rule your home. If you said that no one is permitted to watch Television in the house during late hours in the night, don't let your child see you watching the same TV you said no one should watch. Whatever law you gave your child to keep, you are the first person to keep it. If you make laws in your home and don't keep them, chances are your children will never learn obedience from you.
5. Reward Obedience in your children
When your child does well, congratulate him. But if you want him to do the same good thing again and again, reward him for his obedience. When obedience is rewarded, the child is encouraged to see obedience as a profitable and valuable virtue. Therefore, he becomes consistent in it.
6. Punish every act of Disobedience in your child
When you want to discourage disobedience in your children, discipline and punish any act of disobedience you see in your child. When disobedience is not punished, the child will never see it as a bad thing and invariably will continue doing it. Within a short time, that bad behavior may influence other children negatively.
Conclusion
Parenting is a privilege given to every parent by God. When you are parenting a child, you are rendering service unto God. That's because every child is God's heritage. God is the owner of every child, as a Parent you are just a care taker for God. When you do your parenting service well from a genuine and sincere heart, you will receive your Reward from God here on earth and in eternity. It's not by force to become a Parent. When you find yourself in the office of a parent do it with all your heart. Parenting from the Inside Out is easy when God gives you the grace. Receive grace from God to be a good example for your children to follow.
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